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In a culture of Monday morning quarterbacks and the ever-pervasive “It’s not my problem, just take care of me” or “That’s not my job” attitude, being nice seems almost impossible.

Well, it’s not. Hence, “Be nice or leave.”

It’s one of the signs on our walls here at Paramore | Redd and one of the most amazing things about being a part of this company. The sign is no joke. In fact, it’s one of the core values of our company. Whether we’re dealing with a client or with each other, authentic respect and “niceness” abound within these walls. Hannah Paramore is the poster child for nice.

A couple years ago, I read a book that validated this idea. So, I was inspired to take a few minutes to share it with you. It’s called The Power of Nice by Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval.

The book advocates six principles of nice:

#1: Positive impressions are like seeds.

I call this the “pay it forward” principle. Every time you smile at a stranger, thank someone, treat another with respect, laugh, etc., you’re planting a seed of positive energy, not only for yourself but for that person as well. That creates what the book calls a “multiplier effect.” The graciousness shown to those you know and those you don’t know is passed along. Long term, those positive seeds grow a garden of good will that is fruitful.

#2: You never know.

While performing in a songwriter round at a sports bar in Nashville a few years ago, there was one person in the audience who was actually engaged in the music instead of loud conversation and TVs. After the round, I sought him out and thanked him for paying attention. It meant a lot to have a complete stranger enjoying our songs at a venue that was less than optimal for listening to music. A week or so later, I ran into him at another show. We were both in the audience and ended up sitting at the same table. And so was the beginning of our friendship. Long story short, he is now a long-time friend of my husband and mine. Making that connection has also lead us to meet more friends, which in turn has lead to major studio and touring work for my husband and some amazing session work for me.

The moral of the story: It truly is a small world. It’s all about connecting the dots. Next time you meet a stranger or have an opportunity to help someone or show appreciation for even the smallest of tasks, think about those dots. You never know where they might lead you.

#3: People change.

You have no idea who is going to be important to you in five, 10, 20 years, or even six months from now. The pizza delivery driver might be the owner of a national pizza franchise someday (can you say Papa John’s?). Being nice means choosing to be sincerely interested, patient and respectful to everyone you encounter, even when someone isn’t being nice to you. The long-term results are so worth it.

#4: Nice must be automatic.

Translation: Nice must be authentic, sincere and without agenda.

If you are only nice to the people you think you need to be nice to (like your boss, a VP or “someone important”), you’re not being nice.

This is the toughest thing to do but it is non-negotiable. If you’re going to choose to be nice, it has to be something you do without thinking about it. There cannot be an ulterior motive, and you cannot be selective. You have to mean it.

#5: Negative impressions are like germs.

In the short term, yelling at someone to get what you want might work. But in the long run, people remember that and steer clear. Who wants to be around or associated with someone who is being a jerk? As the book says, “Just as positive actions are like seeds, rude gestures and remarks are like germs – you may not see the impact they have on you for a while, but they are there, silently infecting you and everyone around you.”

#6: YOU will know.

This is a biggie. Even if no one sees or knows about the not-nice things you do, think and say… YOU will know. It will affect the way you feel about yourself and your confidence.

Whether you’re dealing with a client, a friend or a complete stranger, being nice not only gets you farther in the long run, but it feels better, too.

And, being nice doesn’t mean you can’t be honest with someone or that you are a weak person. It just means that no matter what, you maintain respect for other people’s point of view whether you agree with them or not, and you treat others how you expect to be treated.

Sounds simple enough, right?!

Heh. It’s not. But, it is so worth it.

Now, go out and BE the nice person you want to see in others.

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